Choked with Cares

Had an insight today. I've been struggling lately. It's obvious to everyone around me. I laugh and joke about it to keep myself sane. I'm struggling with my children. And with my spirituality. I feel so stressed and steeped in my day to day fight, that I don't make time for my spiritual well being. I feel like I can't. I can't fit one more thing in. Don't get me wrong, I go to church, read my scriptures, pray, do what I need to do in my calling. But I just go through the motions. My heart's not in it, and I can feel the repurcussions it's having in my life. In our lives. So I spent some time on my piano today. Music speaks to my soul in a way nothing else can. It's always been that way. A song I sang prompted a scriptural search that ended in a surprising way. I was searching the word "perfect" in the index. I think I was looking for "perfect love casteth out all fear", something along those lines. But instead, this entry caught my eye: Matt. 8:14 "choked with cares... and bring no fruit to p." Choked with cares. I am choked with cares. So I turned to the scripture and was surprised to find I was in the middle of the parable of the sower. "14 And that which fell among thorns are they, which, when they have heard, go forth, and ARE CHOKED WITH CARES and riches and pleasures of this life AND BRING FORTH NO FRUIT TO PERFECTION." (emphasis added) I know this is conceited, but I've never identified with the seeds sown on stony or thorny ground before. I always put myself into the "good ground" group. While I certainly don't worry about being choked with riches or pleasures, I am choked with cares. Specifically right now, my children. I'm letting those cares take me over. And because of that, I will "bring forth no fruit to perfection." What is my fruit? My children. My husband. My home. My friendships and service. It's all going bad. So what can I do? "15 But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, KEEP IT, AND BRING FORTH FRUIT WITH PATIENCE." (emphasis added) Keep on the path, but have patience. It made me think of Elder Uchtdorf's conference message from October 2007, "Have We Not Reason to Rejoice?" In it he says, "Therefore, enduring to the end is not just a matter of passively tolerating life’s difficult circumstances or “hanging in there.” Ours is an active religion, helping God’s children along the strait and narrow path to develop their full potential during this life and return to Him one day. Viewed from this perspective, enduring to the end is exalting and glorious, not grim and gloomy. This is a joyful religion, one of hope, strength, and deliverance. “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25)." The rest of the talk is magnificent. Please take the time to read it. What I brought away from it is that, I need to put my heart back in to my daily studying and prayer. I need to put God first, and I will be more able to shoulder my "cares". I knew that, but I guess I needed to hear it in a new way. I love this gospel. It really does hold all the answers.